If it’s only the boys, …I don’t love it.

Let’s break up the Johnny’s pace for a bit. I haven’t given up my love for AAA yet, and I still very much prefer the group with two girls, yes. (I had the oddest dream last night about that, actually, but this isn’t the journal for that.)

However, even the title of the boys-only winter concert (男だけだと, …こうなりました! / Otoko dake da to, …kou narimashita!/If it’s only the boys, …it became like this! – thanks to Ruri for the correction) seems to be pointing at avex aiming for the boyband crowd with this group. I am, of course, a member of that same crowd. But the group I developed an obsessive fandom for was not 5 guys (that’s the other group whose name starts with “A”. No prizes for guessing who.), it was 7 (formerly eight) talented young people, 2 of whom are girls and probably won’t be getting a gender-change anytime soon. Oh, please no.

Between that and an admittedly drastic shift in my listening patterns (for the past two weeks I haven’t been able to listen to anything other than Johnny’s songs), it took me a while to get around to it, but I finally bought AAA’s four boys-only digital tracks from mu-mo today. Okay, so a week isn’t that much of a while, but it took me that long to realize I didn’t have to find an iTunes Japan gift card or wait for it to be released on a disc. Shuddup.

Let it SNOW! SNOW! SNOW!

KinKi Kids is a well known name in J-Pop. Even if you haven’t heard a single one of their songs, you’ve probably at least heard their name. And giggled immaturely. (I’m still trying to figure out which is worse – KinKi Kids, Porno Graffitti, or Mr. Children.) But for all the ridiculousness, there’s probably a reason why the Domoto men, like their companions in oddly-named Japanese music groups, keep hitting the top of the Oricon charts. Yes, Koichi’s looks and Tsuyoshi’s quirkiness help a lot, but they have good songs. There, I said it.

So American Thanksgiving is past, and in the northern hemisphere of the globe, it’s time to bust out the winter songs. (Of course, some of you may listen to them all year long, I don’t know. Should I judge you? But that wouldn’t be nearly as much fun as seeing the Domoto “brothers” cramped in a cellophane-wrapped box.) The SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! single was released back in 2005, but with an all-winter theme, it’s become my favorite winter single.

“I pity the foo’ who…” – Wait, that’s me.

Johnny (and sister Mary) Kitagawa know exactly how they’re taking over first Japan, and then the world. Not only that, but it’s working pretty well. And spearheading the effort at the moment is a successful Arashi – they attack and latch on with ferocity, but they also subtly invade lives without their targets realizing it, and oh, pity the poor fool who realizes it too late. By the way – I accept pity orders, credit cards, and PityPal. Just in time for Christmas, please and thank you.

The deeper into Arashi fandom I go, the more I find out that they were wriggling their ways into my life before I even gave them any notice. I’ve recounted how I came across their early videos with PONY CANYON while looking up w-inds.; how PIKA☆☆NCHI DOUBLE was an inflight movie during one of my trips in Hong Kong; how Sho starred in the Honey & Clover movie, a series that perked my interest before it became popular enough for a movie; how Jun was host for Minna no Terebi (which I loved before it became Utawara Hot Hit 10 despite his presence)… wait, did I ever talk about that last one? Oh well, and now you know.

I also heard the news when Nino was going to star in Letters from Iwo Jima, because at that point I was looking up Japanese actors in American films, but back then I paid it no heed. Likewise, Aiba apparently slipped into the Kuitan drama special – and actually, for the life of my sister (yes, I’m sacrificing her), we can’t remember seeing him at all. We remember Kame of KAT-TUN being a random anorexic street punk near the end of the special, but Aiba’s face and Kuitan do not click. This disturbs us because we greatly love Kuitan in all its crack-filled ridiculousness, and so I will have to clear out another gig of space to make room for the special once more. Just for probably a minute with Aiba. Who made absolutely no impression on me at the beginning of my dive into Arashi fandom.

Oh, but wait, this just keeps getting better and better.

It seems like there’s a bunch of Arashi fans on facebook priding themselves about knowing of Nino before his Hollywood stint – something that I can’t really empathize with since Arashi finally endeared themselves to me several months after the movie’s release. Not that I’d really want to, but hey, someone’s gotta be the voice of the rational Japanese boyband fandom and explore the nastier side to counter all the H!P-related fanblogs. (I… clearly am not rational. Okay, I failed already. Stick the fork in me.)

Well, turns out I did know who Nino was before Yamada Taro Monogatari and also Iwo Jima. Y’see, I watched Ao no Honoo, my first Japanese movie (Waterboys and Battle Royale didn’t come until several months later), back in 2004 – I think three-fourths of the readers of this blog, presumably coming from International Wota, know it as the movie in which Matsuura Aya starred. And until recently, that’s all I knew about it too. I liked it well enough, burned it onto a disc for future watching, and moved on to two movies in which Goto Maki starred. (But for all this introduction to J-cinema involving them, no, I’ve never quite gotten into H!P. Watch, I’ll be hopping onto the bandwagon in a year or two if Arashi is any indication.) Um, surprise, surprise, guess who the male lead in that movie was. Face, meet palm. Head, meet desk. Brain, go splody.

It’s getting to be slightly sickening how they seem to be there every step of my dive into Japanese entertainment. I’m almost afraid to look into my past exploits for fear that they’ll be there. Taunting. With their grins and some pretty bad haircuts and STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT I WILL NOT BE SUCKERED AGAIN… who am I kidding? I mean, c’mon boys, at least Jun was blatant about it so I could openly hate him. The rest of you… this isn’t invasion or guerilla warfare or sabotage. It’s pure conditioning and brainwashing. (With a side dose of shampoo if that’s really necessary.)

There is one exception, though. Captain (Ohno) has been absolutely nowhere in sight (save for the aforementioned PIKA☆☆NCHI DOUBLE), but to be honest, that sort of scares me even more. How subtle has his workings been? When I finally find out his role in my past with Japanese entertainment, how deep or shallow will it be? He maybe a baby-faced artist, but he’s every bit like that skeleton who pops out in front of you in a haunted house attraction. You know it’s coming and you’re still freaked when it finally happens. Yes, scary stuff and I don’t agree. Shut up.

This has been an affirmation that I was doomed all along.

They’re talk show hosts, they’re singers, they’re dancers, they’re actors, they’re models. And they’re at their prime in Japan. It’s hard to turn a corner without crashing into them at some point, even if your interests lie a secure distance from boyband pop. That just means you’re less likely to join the fandom. Still seeing them is a different story. You can run, you can hide, but they will find you. Now start running, for all the good it will do you.

Thank You For…

Because it is American Thanksgiving Day tomorrow, I’m supposed to be thankful about something.

But frankly, right now’s a pretty busy and insane time for me, half-due to my own stupidity, so I’m going to throw the usual things I should be thankful for out the window. (I have a roof over my head, I have food to eat, I have an internet connection and a laptop to be doing this on, I have working sensory organs to enjoy what it is that I enjoy, I have money to spend on J-Pop… I think I covered it all? Yes? Okay, there it goes. Hope that random stranger walking down the blog doesn’t trip over it.)

So things that I am thankful for this year that would be relevant to this blog:

Sure, my summer job was under a crazy boss and half the time I had stuff shoved onto me last minute – like in the last half-hour of my last day on the job, and I sincerely wish I was joking about that – but for the most part, I had it good. It was easy, I had time during which I typed up posts for this blog in Notepad, I had easy access to Japanese snack food, and most importantly, I got paid. This same payment allowed me to get to Otakon, for what I will always fondly remember as one of the best weekends in my life. You ought to know why already. (Okay, I’m sure you’re sick of reading about Otakon 2007.)

Living in NYC’s a boon for the J-Pop fan in me that I take for granted too. It’s not California, it’s not Hawaii, but it’s certainly got a much better supply of Japanese music-supplying stores than most cities in the country do, and all the J-stars want to come here for reasons-unknown because it’s apparently awesome – I just miss all the awesome when they’re actually here. (It should be noted that I’m kicking myself over missing both Miura Daichi and Domoto Koichi when they were here – back in July. I’m sort of tempted to look up my horoscopes for that month and see what they said about that.) But the latter’s pain-causing potential aside, the former is a bounty. Oh, Book-off and your $3/7 shelf. Oh, Kinokuniya and the first Japanese album I ever bought (Hamasaki Ayumi’s I am… if you really must know). Oh, Asahiya and the fond memories of Hong Kong you bring… wait, that has jack shit to do with living in NYC. And oh, Karaoke Duet and being able to sing Japanese songs I actually know at karaoke (and the Urata video!)

I really ought to thank the Tantei Gakuen Q drama. So, thank you. I will conveniently overlook how you’ve caused my sister to fall in love with Yamada Ryosuke and how that has forever ruined Hey! Say! JUMP for me. (Fangirls, please go away today. NO. I will never have an interest in them, just because my sister’s interest in them terrifies me so. She actually bothered to look them up. She never bothers, not even with Arashi (and she’s declared her love for Sakurai Sho, who’s 10 years older, so many times it makes my head hurt) or NEWS (half of whom she identifies as “buttsex boys” – please don’t ask), and she’s constantly pleading for me to play them for her.) I will conveniently overlook how some endearing parts of the original were cast aside, how some plot holes were left as gaping maws by the time the show ended, how there were times I wanted to scream at the characters as they were portrayed because I loved the original comic.

No, we’ll ignore all that because you did three good things. One, you introduced me to the goodness that is FLOW. Two, you gave Kayou Aiko a role to act in and show off that she wasn’t just another vapid idol. (Granted, her role was kind of vapid, her murder scene was just plain ridiculous, and she had less lines than she probably should have given her role in the episode. But it was her with more than just song and stupid dance.) Three, you gave me Yamamoto Taro in a skirt, a fucking skirt, and that was just the first episode. Every time he showed up onscreen was a pure delight, and he was in every episode. THANK YOU. I suppose four would be it being one of the better quality dramas this year, with a good cast of actors and fairly high production values, though I’d throw Himitsu no Hanazono in for nominations as well; and five would be the BuriGuri tie-in of an ending track, but frankly, I’m not a big BuriGuri fan. Maybe next year.)

Thank you, those of you who read this blog, and even more so if you actually write yourself (because I probably know about it if you do). I think there are maybe 6 of you altogether, but the fact that there are people who actually read whatever it is that I write (because I’m not sure what it is myself) is a huge ego-booster and inspiring (in some misguided way) towards my attempts at improving my writing. Maybe one of these days I’ll come up with something that’s actually worth the attention. Or just resort to talking about H!P.

I can, however, safely say I’m not thankful for having met Raid. The nerve of him, getting me into Arashi despite all my attempts to the contrary and then promptly dropping out of the fandom himself. (Just kidding, I’m thankful for that too. I think. Though it’d help if he didn’t message me at 2AM – whether it’s his time or my time. I sincerely mean it every time I call him crazy.)

Gender Differences

A recent question about the content of this blog got me thinking. The question being “Where is Amuro Namie?” – courtesy of Patrick over at Who’s Afraid of Music? – and my contemplated answer being “I like Namie, but there are so many bloggers out there who can and do blog about her, so I don’t.”

Let’s face it, I write excessively about boybands here. Even AAA, under the definition of “a boyband with two girls”, counts, and I’d wager that they make up about a third of this blog’s content. (Only a third? I don’t do my fandom proud enough.) This Arashi quicksand trap I’ve stepped into isn’t especially helping either, since I practically announced my intention to go back through their albums on this blog.

It’s not because boybands are the only musical acts I listen to – nor is it because they’re excessively easy to blog about. Frankly, they’re pretty hard. Same old scandals (Extra, extra! A of [xxx] was seen going out with B! Is C-san underage drinking? D is under suspicion of cheating in school/doing drugs! [zzz] is under suspension because of something E-kun did. Gasp, shock, yawn. NEXT.), same old news (New dramas, new release, new concerts, hitting whatever spot on the Oricon charts), same old personalities (giant dorks. End of story.). Even with all the Arashi variety shows I’ve been watching as I sink deeper into that particular mud pit, I don’t have much to write about.

They’re boys. They sing, they dance, they act, they joke around, they have fun. They may different people deep inside, but they’re all marketed the same way regardless of how good or bad the stylists make them look or their individual talents. That way is what sells them so well in Japan. That same way is also what makes it so hard to do a serious post on them that doesn’t quite involve reviewing or fangirling – because that’s what they’re marketed for.

In contrast – most J-pop blogs with actual writing (which I define as anything that doesn’t make my head hurt to read; I know, not an especially good definition – fine, we’ll define a J-pop blog with actual writing as one where the focus is on the writing, rather than media of any sort) can be split into two types of writing. Reviews, and analytical. They either discuss the music/videos (which is more often than not what I rely on to fill this blog); or discuss various aspects of the person/people involved in the music/videos – which includes (but isn’t limited to) fans, news/gossip/scandals and how it affects both fans and artist, or the growth of the artist with time. The main subjects of J-pop blogs also seem to be easily defined – female idols (H!P, AKB48); or more serious artists who either don’t qualify or have gone past idol status, like avex’s leading divas or various bands.

And these people are safe to write about. They provide plenty of material – material that leads to controversy, to arguments, and to discussion. They’re all marketed differently, whether it’s the innocent-yet-promiscuous image Koda Kumi’s achieved, the career woman that is Hamasaki Ayumi, the punk rocker chic that makes Tsuchiya Anna who she is, or the “Go! Girl” upbeat attitude of most girl pop groups that covers the different personalities of the members (and it’s this underlying factor that really draws crowds in).

Left in the dust, of course, is Japanese boybands, who really just make news-related or media posts, artists that half the time don’t get considered as “J-Pop” but “Anime”, and teenage “idols” who are still developing into bigger artists and talent but are being pushed into a generic, safe mold that sells. There is no interesting enough point about them that could speak out to readers – and of course, that’s not what Japan wants because overseas bloggers are far from the marketing companies’ concern. They want numbers and yen. Preferably more of each on the “Sold” side of the chart instead of the “Still on the shelves” side.

So I like to think of my blog (henceforth) as a crusade. I will write about Japanese boybands without squeeing or delving into capslock or being completely nonsensical (because half the time what I write seems like complete BS). I will try to make these cookie-cutter boys seem interesting and potentially dangerously controversial. (Actually, as far as I’m concerned they’re already dangerous. You all saw what Arashi did to me.)

But the safety of the boys does come with a bonus, at least. They sell. You know what you’re getting into with a Japanese boyband – decent vocals, decent looks, decent music. Because they’re all the same. Whether it’s wFL (well, more like w-inds., because FLAME has died out again and Lead has been slacking off), or the brainwashing of Johnny’s, or the pretty-boy musical duo WaT (whose good looks and ways of appealing to the girls, despite the fact that they make their own music, places them in the boyband category), or the many numbers of budding (but never really going to sprout) indies boybands, they’re all males who sing, dance, and when they aren’t, are acting like endearing idiots that seem so close (because you can just see them in that guy in your Maths class or that Starbucks barista with the lopsided grin) and yet so far (because they’re way too edited with make-up, airbrushing, and living in Japan hiding under sunglasses and hats when they go out shopping). That indiscriminate nearby fantasy makes girls (and middle-aged women) swoon and sends them up the charts.

(I’d even refer to DA PUMP and EXILE as boybands if they hadn’t discovered and stuck with R&B and a particular kakkoii-otona image because otherwise they’d fit the basic blueprints. Except that they’re not always at the top of the charts, but we chalk that up to the kakoii-otona vibe they give off rather than the forever-young image most boybands work.)

With girl groups, though, there are too many factors. They’re all trying to claim the top spot, they’re all trying to do it differently. Morning Musume holds true to the “Be genki! Girls! Japan!” stuff Tsunku has been writing for the past decade. dream – sorry, DRM, stays safe (and low-selling) with bland pop that attacks at a dwindling crowd of Japanese listeners. AKB48 tackles real issues and goes to their fans instead of vice-versa. As a result, each is compared (incorrectly) to the other by sole virtue of being a group of dancing, singing girls in the Japanese music industry and not a single one will actually come out as “the best” – which is what, half the time, they seem to be focused on. This allows for more discussion – how can they return to the top (or in AKB48’s case, reach the top), what are they doing wrong. Same with the “actual artists” and divas, with an extra bonus of name-calling (Koda the slut, Hamasaki the plastic surgery empress).

One of these days I want to see all of them – yes, all of them, be it divas, boybands, visual kei groups, girl pop groups, teen idols, powerful vocalists, actors/actresses with singing as a side job, even the old enka people – dressed in trash bags. We’ll make it the newest in Japanese couture or something. See who really comes out on top. (Someone forbid it be Sawajiri Erika. Please don’t give her a real reason to be bitchy. I’ll do that for her.)

But until then, I shall work at carving out my little niche in J-pop blogging. I could easily be mistaken. There could be a bunch of great J-pop blogs (much greater than mine) out there that deal with Japanese boybands in an articulate, level-headed, intelligent manner, and I just haven’t seen them for all my roaming about Technorati, WordPress tags/categories, International Wota (though would the hordes of boyband fangirls count as wota? Probably not.), and the web in general. In which case… please speak up?

What Time is it?

Some things get better with the passage of time. Wine, cheese, music. And fandoms.

So I’ve been waiting until my Arashi fandom was securely developed before choosing to delve into their latest album, Time. It is one thing to like a group because of its music, it is something else to like their music once you like the group. (For example, I like MiniMoni – Yaguchi-era – but can’t stand the pink and cutesy of their songs. In contrast, I like HINOI TEAM’s music, but I’ve yet to find myself really liking the group for who they are.)

So my distaste of Matsumoto Jun has waned slightly, but all the members of the group have risen at least some distance in my books (Okay, so Ohno/Nino/Aiba shot up so quickly it’s ridiculous.) so it doesn’t count for much. His face still pisses me off and I laugh every time a kid does something to him in Mago Mago Arashi. And as I told Raid – this review would take me longer than NEWS’ pacific (despite the fact that I started this post before that one) just because I had to tolerate Jun. (By the way, Raid’s started his own fanblog because I’m awesome and he wants to imitate me and the amount of stuff he buys is insane. So go check it out because without him this post wouldn’t be here. Go. Go go go go GO.)

Um. Moving on. I’m too lazy to dig up the flame extinguisher this time. Go away, flaming fangirls. Flame off for you today.

1-2-3-4-5-6, it’s Ocean-sized NEWS!

NEWS‘ second album, pacific, was finally released. I get to say finally because they’ve been releasing pretty sporadically, and it’s been two years since the last album. This may be normal for other artists, but NEWS is a Johnny’s boyband – their sole purpose is to milk money. (Don’t deny it. I know you want to. For the sake of denying.)

Happy Birthday, Urata!

…gee, you didn’t think I was trying to post every day this week for the hell of it, did you?

So now it is past midnight where I am, and it is both the day of one Urata Naoya’s birth here and in Japan.

Happy 25th, oyaji. Congratulations, you’re back to being 5 years older than me, and another year closer to a midlife crisis.

My “heart-felt” message popped up on the ATTACK’d ALL AROUND forums the instant it turned midnight in Japan already, but the Cliff Notes’ version: I can’t tell you why I love him, I don’t want to because that may mean I love him more than anyone else who’s not in a direct relationship with him. (You are welcome to shoot me now.)

Also that I’m going to continue to support him and wish him all the best. DUH.

In the grand tradition of Santos-san, I went and got a cake to celebrate!

Yes, it’s just a slice. I hope you didn’t think I was going to eat a whole cake by myself?

Here’s to many more months of fangirling to come. ♥

Eternal Sunshine of the Naked Mind

It’s official. The Otakon AAA posts have been undeniably the most read posts I have typed up… ever. Between this blog and the old version of it (with all its downloads) combined. People are still searching them up, never mind incoming from other sites for those three posts alone. And clearly anything else I may have to say won’t attract nearly as much attention. But let’s try it anyways.

If you haven’t realized it by now, I’m also an anime fan. Not closet, just casual. I used to be focused on it much like I’m focused on J-Pop (Culture) now, but one of my favorite things about that particular industry has always been the voice actors.

Oh yes, the seiyuu. Seki Tomokazu was my favorite of them all. So when he was announced as a guest for Otakon, I was immensely pleased too. Unfortunately, in my AAA frenzy, the only Seki-related event I did make while at Otakon was half of his panel in the Main Hall on Saturday, but he is still undeniably a funny and talented man. Not the handsomest, not the smoothest, and that he smokes is a turn-off, but he’s still funny and talented with a voice that makes me melt.

Okay, enough singing praises. Seki, like most seiyuu, makes a living off his voice, and got around to releasing 3 actual albums where he was singing as himself, unaffiliated with anything anime or tokusatsu, with a general titular theme of “Mind”. (I’m conveniently ignoring the Kamen Rider cover album.) Surprisingly, the first of these, Naked Mind, was with avex back in 2000, and even more surprisingly, it was (executive) produced by the same “Max” Matsuura Masato that brought Hamasaki Ayumi to fame.

When Substitution leads to Subtraction.

First things first. KAT-TUN sucks because they’re not shiny enough.

[Okay, onto the real post.]

“There has been a substitution of AAA for Hello!Project and Johnny’s in this fandom (but I’m not quite sure how I want to react to it).” – Kimitsu, completely mangling a Vinton Cerf quote.

Though news from and rumors about AAA releases have been trickling a bit more steadily of late, it can’t be denied. After the massive post-Otakon hype, AAA quieted down for a while and so has the fandom. Can you blame us? We hated it, but we thrived off the constant releases, the endless ATTACKs, and the blog posts.

And then suddenly it all stopped. Considering the next AAA release apparently won’t be until in January, the tour in 2008 won’t be an ATTACK, the blog has vanished into oblivion (we get our AAA hits from when Hidaka posts in the Mother Ninja blog now), and that it was almost two months before we heard any of this; I mean it stopped.

Of course, fandom never dies, it only shifts. (Once obsessive about something, always obsessive about something, albeit not the same thing.) And so a lot of the longer AAA fans are heading to the next closest thing: Johnny’s, H!P, and a few who drift towards the three boys of w-inds..

Unfortunately, I’m a victim of this too. I’ve generally kept an eye on NEWS, but my laptop’s hard drive currently has more space allocated to Arashi than AAA. (So if any JPop fans have felt something unbalanced in “The Force”, that’s probably what it is. The midi-chlorians don’t run so strong within my laptop now.) But between the hype over NEWS’s double-release, and how almost all the current JE groups are or will be crashing releases upon us in these coming two months, it’s just a lot easier to pay attention to them if you need a pretty boy fix. And of course, we can’t forget AAA is a boy AND girl unit. Even with its decline, Morning Musume remains the definitive girl group of Japan, and H!P has its share of AAA fans. You people know who you are. Leave me alone in my corner, ‘kay? I’ve had one non-fan card ripped up already, let’s save the others for the next year.

(By the way, between “w-inds..” and “NEWS’s”, I’m pretty sure I’m making English majors wince. Blame the companies who name them.)

And what is avex going to do about this? For all our complaints, AAA was defined by two things – members being both male and female in the age of pop scandals, and their constant release activity. The latter has stopped, and it seems like in an effort to drum up more interest and popularity in Japan, avex may be looking into developing the male-only aspect of the group.

…wake up, avex. You can take away the blogs, you can take away the “ATTACK”s, you can take away my money. You don’t take away the girls. That’s when AAA stops being AAA and becomes another Johnny’s imitation. Likewise, you don’t take the boys away from the girls – Chiaki and Misako are talented in their own rights and deserve to be more than just expansion packs to a boyband. (So I was playing video games while writing this post, leave me alone.)

But this leaves me wondering what will happen to the AAA fandom. Most fans were already also fans of Johnny’s or H!P prior to AAA’s debut, and the new recruits seem more than happy to eat up the more substantial offerings from the two pop group superpowers without ever looking back. Meanwhile, the newer AAA fans, for whom the novelty has yet to wear off, all seem to be in the same line – either trying very hard to unnecessarily prove that they love the group every bit as much as the ones that came before; or being discontent with the jadedness of the older fans. There is no unity in the fandom anymore.

AAA, where has the love gone? Yeah, yeah, I know. To greener and more active pastures. So you guys enjoy your time in the sun, but avex, can we finish with winter here already?

About that statement at the very beginning of this post: In my currently not-so-humble opinion, they do, but mostly it was flamebait to see whether or not JE fangirls actually read. Not to worry – I have fire extinguishers aplenty… as soon as I can figure out how to work them.